We will understand the journey past only as we continue to embrace the path before us. We come to understand that we are {portals for and} bearers of the Christ light, and that the holy is born in us, only as we enter the mysteries of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany again and again.” – Jan Richardson

“I am a portal for the Holy!” - Mary in “The Magnificat.”

This pandemic feels like one long winding portal that never ends. We notice it’s getting lighter sometimes and then we realize it’s just a sky window or a well-lit place- and the portal continues. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe we would be preparing for our second annual Zoom Christmas Eve service. The trauma is real, it gets harder to measure time, and beloved rituals like this continue to hold us and help us mark and light the way on this journey.

“So, when the blessing comes, take its hand. Get up, step through the portal... Set out on the road you cannot see... in Advent seasons past, we have journeyed through darkness. desire, preparing a space, hope, birthing, and welcoming. We will know these places again and again in our lives because God’s path unfolds not in a straight line, but in a spiral. We emerge onto each new threshold with the experiences of the passage we have just made…. But we will understand the journey past only as we continue to embrace the path before us. We come to understand that we are portals for and bearers of the Christ light, and that the holy is born in us, only as we enter the mysteries of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany again and again.” – Jan Richardson

(Thanks to Jackie Freitas for bringing up this scripture in our Thursday evening Council Meeting)

“God did not lead the Israelite people along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land… Instead God led them on a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea.” -Exodus 13: 17-18

My Son is really good at doing mazes and puzzles. One of his favorites is “connect the dots.”

God will cover you with their feathers. They will shelter you with their wings. Their faithful promises are your armor and your protection. – Psalm 91: 4

It was around this time in 2004 that I began my Chaplain Residency at University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Hospital in Little Rock. Our first weekend together we had a "get to know each other" retreat with our CPE Supervisor in a cabin at a United Methodist camp/retreat up on Petit Jean Mountain- a flat topped Ozark near Morrillton. I was horrified to learn that we would be sharing our spiritual journey stories in detail as part of our time together. My new colleagues were Church of Christ, Southern Baptist, and Evangelical United Methodist. And I really didn't want to start what I knew was going to be an intense experience by coming out in all the ways that are essential to understanding the trajectory of my spiritual journey.

Create in me a clean heart O God and Renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51

And Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” – John 8: 12

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. -Psalm 119

“God, I am your servant; give me discernment so I may tread carefully in the world and understand your ways” -Psalm 119

One day while we were on vacation, Clivie and I were climbing around on rocks at Utah’s magnificent Dead Horse Point State Park. Clivie makes me nervous climbing on rocks because he climbs higher than I think he should and manages to get into places he has to figure out how to get down from. One way I have coped with my parental anxiety is to climb around with him- at least to a place where I can see what he is doing, encourage him, and give directions.

And they said to Jesus, “What sign do you show us as your authority for doing these things?” – John 2:18

And the sign says long hair freaky people need not apply. So, I put my hair under my hat. And I went in to ask him why. -Signs, Signs, Everywhere There’s Signs. (The Tesla Version).

I visited Taos, New Mexico on a daytrip from Santa Fe a few years ago, and I knew I wanted to explore more. I was delighted to have that opportunity on my post Holy Week retreat in 2019. I have learned that when I strongly want to make pilgrimage somewhere there is usually spiritual work that I need to do. So, when the wheels went up as we took off from Oakland for Albuquerque, I started paying attention. I began my trip by driving up to Farmington, where I had the absolute joy of taking an archaeologist led tour of Chaco Canyon. I enjoyed spending a couple of days exploring Ancestral Pueblo culture around Farmington/Bloomington and was excited to make my way to Taos for the remainder of my trip. I packed up and drove to the edge of Bloomington and stopped at the stoplight at a major intersection. What I saw made me freeze in my tracks.

Reflections from Rev. Jeanne Loveless, Minister & Teacher

“Everything in the world is changing quickly. So, take nothing for granted. Stay wide awake in prayer.”

-I Peter 4: 7

Change moves incrementally from breath to breath and moment to moment, allowing for course-correction along the way. – Sharon Weil

"It is important to embrace the pause: to create quiet space so we can hear God’s voice. If our tongues are wagging, we can’t hear anything but ourselves." – Anne Lamotte

In my sermon last week, I shared a story about re-learning the art of hand carving soapstone during my spiritual "Dark Night of the Soul" (which segued into the tragedy of the pandemic- just as I began to find the ground). Carving soapstone reminds me of sitting in the sawdust in my Grandpa Noel’s basement in his workshop where he was always turning wood and making household repairs. It is a place I remember with great fondness.