Why Giving Feels So Good

by Rev. Kathy Cramer

This week I was the recipient of an unexpected gift, which brought a spark of joy into my day. One of the great things about giving is that it is a joyful experience for both parties—the giver and the receiver. It is fun to be able to give a gift, to know that you are making someone happy. And, of course, it is also great to receive a gift. This got me to thinking about both giving and the many gifts that come our way all the time.

Gifts come to us in many forms: physical gifts, emotional support, compassion and forgiveness. This week several of us received the gift of hospitality and connection as we met for Lunch Bunch. We shared our time, attention and stories as we gathered around the table together. Having opportunities to share strengthens our communal ties and lifts our spirits.

I began to wonder why giving feels so good. Scientists suggest that this has to do with our brain chemistry, which releases chemicals associated with pleasure and happiness. They even call it a "helper's high." Research also shows that giving improves our physical health. Studies show that generosity can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and even increase longevity. It appears that our biological system is designed to support giving.

I am currently reading a book called Restoring the Kinship Worldview: Indigenous Voices Introduce 28 Precepts for Rebalancing Life on Planet Earth. The book is a series of dialogues with Indigenous leaders in various fields about the differences in the world view between the dominant Western paradigm and Indigenous beliefs. One of the themes running throughout the book is that Indigenous perspectives grow from a deep connection with the natural world. One of the chapters in the book is about generosity. The authors note that "Giving and receiving emulate the central animating dynamic of life itself."

In general, our culture views generosity as a virtue; it is a good thing to do. For the most part, we tend to give from our abundance: I have enough money to live on so I can donate to causes I care about; I am heading that way so I can give you a ride. We enjoy being generous. While all of this is good, in an Indigenous worldview it would likely be considered the tip of the iceberg. They see generosity as a way of life; it is ingrained into their culture. They give from a sense that it is just part of living. One example of this is that if you were visiting someone and admired one of their possessions, they would probably give it to you.

In many tribal cultures, giving things away is a way of life, one that creates powerful social bonds. And yes, it is not easy; it involves sacrifice. Generosity comes in many forms. To be patient, to listen, to share a smile, a joke or even a tear are powerful gifts. Martin Brokenleg from the Lakota society notes, "The highest expression of courage is generosity, such as when children learned to show compassion for others and to give a higher priority to relationships rather than possessions." In these cultures, sharing is just what is done. It is not about how much you have or don't have; all is to be shared.

While the culture that surrounds us may not value compassion and generosity in the same way as Indigenous cultures, we still have a biological makeup that rewards us when we are generous. It releases those chemicals that make us feel good. And as faithful in people we know the value in sharing and giving. We know that sharing with one another strengthens the bonds of our community. We experience this every Sunday as we come together for worship, sharing our thoughts, our joys and concerns. We have been experiencing this throughout our Summer of Renewal as we have heard a diversity of voices from those leading worship reminding us that our commitment to caring for the world is connected to our commitment to ourselves.

It is interesting to reflect that one of the foundational aspects of our religion is hospitality: welcoming the stranger and sharing what one has with another. We heard about this last Sunday as Rev. Dr. Torgerson talked about the directive in Deuteronomy (15:11): "There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land." Rev. Torgerson also talked with us about sharing what we can in the moment. The gift that "Petra" brought to anoint Jesus was valuable and she gave it away with an open heart. May we continue to show this level of generosity in our world, after all, it is the natural way.