“Once I knew only darkness and stillness. . .
My life was without past or future . . .
But a little word from the fingers of another
Fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness,
And my heart leaped to the rapture of living.” Helen Keller
Imagine not being able to hear or see.
What would that be like?
How would you navigate?
With what would you compare and contrast things?
How would you even formulate words, let alone spell them?
Would the names of the colors of the sunset mean anything to you?
How would you describe the sound of the river tumbling over boulders?
Would you be able to understand the concept of past or future?
Perhaps you have tasted those words of Helen Keller on a spiritual level – a time when God seemed far away. You could see, yet experienced deeply the darkness of not seeing. You could hear, yet experienced the deafness of no meaning. Perhaps you felt you had to “reach up to touch bottom.” The Lord seemed to be a God of Hiddenness.”
At such times, objectivity is almost impossible. At such times, it is critical to seek out spiritual guidance from someone you trust - someone who will not “try to fix it” or necessarily give advice – but someone who will provide a safe space in which you can explore where you are in your journey – someone who will stand by you as you discover for yourself your next steps in faith. Spiritual guidance is a gift you can give yourself anytime, but especially during times of struggle.
In the meantime, take to heart these words: “Come to me all who labor, and I will give you rest.” (Mt.11:28) “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jer. 31:3) May those words be that “little word from the fingers of another” bringing courage to your heart to leap once again “to the rapture of living.” - Jackie F.